Exponential Growth
Sunday, December 31st, 2023
Stay Focused- What does Lisa want?
Daily remind myself…For Who and For What?
I want a place where myself and like-minded people can come to make art to express themselves. Especially feminine forms of artistic expression.
I want to create expressions that can be performed in public that make a statement and are but are not just "entertainment."
I want to stay free of distractions that disrupt or interfere with my ability to follow through with creating these expressions.
I want to set boundaries with those who surround me so I am able to accomplish my passions and help others achieve theirs.
I want to allow people in to help me because I cannot do this alone. I want to trust that people will not try to take advantage of me.
Most recent lesson learned the hard way.
Someone, who I genuinely believed was trying to support and help me, has already ended up to be only after one thing. I could be wrong, it’s hard to say. I thought we were past this (especially at my age) but I guess we will never be? I'm unsure. What I do know…I can't do this alone and will need help but will have to be more careful about who I allow in to help.
I make beautiful artistic expressions. I don't know how other people receive them. It isn't for me to decide how they are interpreted. If someone thinks they are seductive, they are. Just because I express myself this way doesn't mean I want something from anyone. I haven't figured out how to educate people that what I create is about so much more. It feels like more like an awakening of a self, through art and music, that society hasn't allowed me. My sensual feminine side, which is beautiful and healthy, has been horribly suppressed, causing severe depression throughout my life. Now it's time to allow this side to be safely expressed. It means, first and most importantly, to keep asking myself in every situation and encounter, "Is this what Lisa wants?" A question that, honestly, I have never considered much throughout life. I feel so desperate to please others and to have friends that I lose myself. It is a challenge to set boundaries with people I have been in relationships with for years and also with people I have most recently met. I am getting better at it but still have more work to do. If you are like me, I hope by sharing this, you will find comfort in knowing you are not alone. If you are a very feminine person who likes to express yourself freely without fear of being misinterpreted and without losing sight of yourself, I am here. We are together.
